Thoughts on our Anniversary

(thanks for the card Mom, we actually forgot until we got your card on WEdnesday!)

Our anniversary is a bit complicated! We had a dilema when we decided how and when to get married.

E was hell bent against a big family wedding and was adamant about a very private affair. I on the other hand wanted the wedding I'd always dreamed of, I'd waited 30 some years for it!

We debated for a month after getting engaged... then something happened that simplified things for us. September 11th, 2001. That most awful of days for our nation. In the weeks after I decided to relent a bit on the private wedding, offered up a mix between the 2, a destination wedding where some people were able to come with us and vacation with us, this would cut down to only a few who would take part. E was VERY opposed to this as he wanted NO ONE on our honeymoon whether it took place as part of our wedding or a year later!

So I finally mentioned, Vegas. He loved the idea, a private wedding, simple, all arranged by someone else, how good could it get? We even had a theme wedding, we both, thankfully, drew the line at Elvis. But I offered him pirates, Medieval, Pharoahs, Paris, etc all based on the themes offered by the various hotels. He chose Medival and so we were married in costume, in a beautiful hotel chapel at the Excaliber in Vegas in October of 2001. It was simple, lovely, INCREDIBLY RELAXING and FUN. We couldn't have asked for more.

But we kept this wedding very private and didn't share it with everyone until after the big family wedding, yup, we had both. September 11th taught us for the first time in our marriage that life is too short not go after what matters to you. We learned this again in 2004 and again in 2005.

We did go through with the big June 02 wedding, it was as important to me as the simple wedding was to E. We kept it a secret, I'm sure many didn't appreciate the secret being kept from them, but our first wedding wasn't about them, it was about us. My mom put it best when she found out a few months after the family wedding that we were already married. She was disappointed not to know but she said we were right not to let the cat out of the bag, she expected that many people just wouldn't have bothered going to the wedding that I always dreamed of since we were already married. I appreciated her support and understanding and she symbolized what marriage is about anyway, it's a commitment to do right by the one person you've chosen to spend your life with.

And so, we had an incredible family wedding in Sturbridge Masschusetts at the Publick House Inn. It was beautiful, but I can honestly say, E knew best. The Vegas wedding is still both of our favorites. It was very hard to organize the big June wedding from hundreds of miles away and we found out all too quick that big family weddings aren't without 'complications', individual family expectations vs what happened, being told that something should be done one way vs what we wanted and the never ending issues with contracts and hired personnel.

Itw as lovely in it's own right, a beautiful day, an INCREDIBLE location with none of the 'hotel banquet room feel' and the food was unbelievable. We chose that location as we wanted something original, not too hotelish and something that meant a lot to us. I remember Sturbridge Village growing up and loved it. All the watresses and waiters were in period costume, the Inn had beautiful old canopy beds, banquet halls with timber framing and gourmet chefs. Wow was it perfect in that regard. So I take away from our joint weddings the best of both worlds. For me, seeing as many new and familiar faces in one place is what made all the angst of the June wedding worthwhile. We have relationships with people we never would have had otherwise and I am so grateful for that.

We still open our photo album from it every so often and reminisce. It was a beautiful day, a beautiful setting and we had more than our fill of incredible food and cake!

Here's to having your cake and eating it too... twice!