Magpie Monday -Seventh Sevens

(I wrote this way way back on May 16th... planning to post it sometime before August 16th... well, I am forever aware of dates, special events and just momentos along this journey. And so just like many many days over the last few months with meaning, this one is most definitely not lost on me. I've decided to share this post, for whatever meaning it had to me then and for what it may mean to me now. It's part of my story and always will be. Happy Seventh Sevens and Happy Birthday.)


Some may remember I selected Magpie's nickname when I read about the Chinese festival Seventh Sevens, essentially the Chinese Valentines Day.

I really enjoy Native American folklore and beliefs as much as I've enjoyed learning about Chinese ones too. Early on (like 4 years ago) I jumped head first into the world of China.. learned geography, culture aspects (as much as a white kid from New England can), festivals, traditions, etc. That's where I first heard of the Seventh Sevens (if you want a more traditional version, head into my archives about 4 years. This version is much 'lighter').

Essentially, the seventh daughter of the Gods was a Weaving Maiden. Not just any God kind of dude, nope, her dad was the Emperor of the Heavens, I imagine that's a fairly hoity toity position. In the Seventh Lunar month, she and her sisters got bored one day and descended from Heaven and went swimming in a pond on Earth. Of course, they went skinny dipping, cause that's what Weaving Maidens do.

A cowherder and an Ox watching them from the bushes just happened upon them by accident. And as boys will be boys, and Oxen will be Oxen, one challenged the other to hide all their clothes. And of course, girls being girls, all the older sisters made the youngest sister, Seventh Daughter, go get their clothes. Well they fell in love of course. And when I say love, well, you know, he was likely struck by her naked ta tas beauty and she by his devilish side kindness in helping her find her clothes.

As you can imagine, mom, Empress of the Heavens (I guess that's her title, maybe she was just "First Wife", pun anyone?) was a bit irate and pissed as hell disappointed in her daughters choice of husbands and banished her to the Heavens while the cowherder and their 2 children were left behind. So the herder lived a lonely solitary life on earth while Seventh daughter hung out in her jail in Heaven.

So as to make sure bad daughter couldn't sneak out the back door and come back to earth, Mother Meanie created a River of Stars (Milky Way as we call it) to separate them.

Once a year she takes pity on them (one version says Emperor of the Heavens actually does this part) and allows the Magpies to fly together to create a bridge over the river of stars. Where they proceed to spend 24 hours fooling around holding hands and strolling through the grass.

I loved the vision of the Magpies in this story and so she became Magpie to me. (and when I say vision in this story, I don't mean my version of it!)

This legend  has been handed down for nearly 2 Millennias. Legend has it that the weaving maiden and the cowherder are the brightest stars in the sky. She, Zhi Nu is the star Vega and he, Niu Lang is Altair.

Seventh Sevens is also known as Qixi, Festival of the Magpies.

(鵲橋, "the bridge of magpies", Que Qiao)

This year it takes place on August 16th.

Yes, I did just say, August 16th. Ring a bell?

ps - I'm still betting on 7/5/10

Sweetness

I think I've mentioned a few times that I have incredible neighbors, they surpass the neighborhood I grew up in, and that's a very high compliment. I was a lucky kid.

For instance:

(Neighbor): how are things since it all happened (adoption implosion)?
Me: It's hard, each day is a challenge in it's own way. This is a difficult time with others receiving referrals.
(Neighbor): As we looked at her son, E, she said he is so sweet, he asked the other day "mom, why don't you and dad adopt a child so you can give her to L?"
Me: He really is a wonderful, thoughtful child. (it's interesting how the statements by a child, if spoken instead by an adult, would lose their innocence)

This is of course said with all the innocence of a child, where the world is simple through there eyes, where there are solutions to every problem, where the difficulties get wrapped up within hours or at most by morning.

Their children bought flowers for me the day after the news came, bringing them over, hugging me and telling me how sorry they were, the kids are 10 and 7, that's a lot to absorb. I know my tears were echoed in other houses in the neighborhood. I remember telling this same neighbor the first night "oh, gosh, the kids, this is a lot for them to deal with". She said "listen, they are going to learn eventually that life can be full of disappointments and let downs, life is just not fair sometimes".

And that's when I saw the truth every parent eventually sees, the moment their children learn life is in fact, not fair. The most parents can hope for is to protect them long enough from the pain of life and yet to give them the skills they will desperately need to cope with life's realities.

************************************************************

That same child a few moments later when he joined us? He asked me, I wonder if you can lick your elbow? I said only if your arm is broken.

He thought for a moment, then asked, I wonder if you can lick your arm pit?

The answer?

He proceeded to show us, YES, you can lick your arm pit.

Humbling experience

Remember when you were a kid? Like eons ago? Reach back, the memories are there, we're not that old yet.

Did you ever take part in one of those exercises where one of your 5 senses is 'turned off'? Sort of as a way to 'see' the world through the eyes of someone who might not be able to see or hear?

I don't remember doing that. We might have, but it clearly didn't make an imprint on my mind if I did it. I really believe if I had experienced it, after this week I would be having flashbacks.

My cold switched into an all out war on some of my 'abilities'. Monday and Tuesday last week in the afternoons my hearing would turn off. My hearing went on hiatus completely though for a few days starting on Wednesday, only coming back about 50% on Sunday. During that time, on Tuesday I lost my voice and it returned from vacation, someplace peaceful and sunny I bet, on Saturday. During that time I also couldn't wear contacts in one eye due to an infection, yeah, cruel addition. 

(during this time a second trip to the doctors resulted in someone taking things seriously, loading me up on some meds and low and behold... it was some kind of bacterial infection after all.)

It was a little challenging to do much of anything. I had a minor amount of hearing, you know, where you turn the TV up to 30-40 when you normally listen to it at 5, and you turn down the base as far as you can to keep the house from sliding down the hillside with the vibrations. Beyond that I could not talk (no voice) and could not hear conversations. More than once I ruined something in the stove cause I couldn't hear the timer go off.

Today (Sunday) was the first day I felt well enough to walk down to the dock and lay on the hammock, Ginger chilled in the grass. But it wasn't the same. Normally I listen to the wonderful sounds of the water lapping the dock and birds singing, and gosh how I missed the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind.

To say the loss of voice and hearing was lonely is an understatement. I was out of my element, and I'm not even a chatty cathy.

For those who know me best, well, I even skipped out on cake (and icing) (or was that icing, and cake?) at the birthday party next door. What was I gonna do? I couldn't hear or talk and it was a party. I was at a loss to fit in at home, let alone someone else's.

So this afternoon, I went up to the house after laying on the hammock a bit. It was just lonely. I tried yet one more 'home remedy' to get my ears to clear and I gladly took the pain when just the tiniest of pressure adjustments came through. I got back about half of what I lost and I'm sure the rest will follow in the coming days.

As I lay on the hammock later in the afternoon, I closed my eyes and listened to the birds chirping, the water hitting the dock and I smiled, on the outside and the inside. It was wonderful.

My voice and hearing going on temporary hiatus is yet another reminder I welcome that life is about the simple things and, life in general is good. I am far from where I thought I would be at this stage, there is no nursery, no travel planning, no excitement. But I have my hearing, my voice and my love of life.

As a side note, Blue Heron's (I've heard) have been on the lake for decades, that afternoon one came swooping low, right at the dock and landed on it about 20 feet from the hammock. It stayed briefly. Ginger decided to make a beeline for it and I watched it glide away to it's normal spot a few docks down. I'd never seen it land on my dock, normally it nests on the north end of the lake and hangs out sometimes a few houses down from me. Even more ironic, my neighbors just pulled the boat away from the dock and they were fairly close also.

If I close my eyes I can still hear it landing on my dock. I am grateful for the gift of sound.

Magpie Monday -Creepy Crawly Colds

As long as I remember it's Magpie Monday I'll continue to do a post where somewhere in there is a message, a thought, a moment, that if I could I would have wanted to share with her.

This Monday started on Friday, bear with me. I got sick as a dog, okay, sicker than a dog. In a matter of hours I went from fine to temperature over 105, confused, muscle and joint aches. After my temp reached 105, and it was only a few hours since I was 'normal', I realized I may not be able to bring the temp down though I had tried with medicine already.

So off to the hospital I went, with a neighbor. You know how local hospitals can be right? yeah. Unfortunately.

They blew it off. Even blew off the nausea, fever, joint pain, neck pain and the worst migraine I've ever had. AFter I left I saw animals crossing the road as my friend drove me home that were non-existent. yeah, that's sort of a sign.

(wondering where thoughts of Magpie come in?)

2.5 hours later I was home, in a daze, temperature through the roof practically and the migraine such that I'd have been happy to put my head through the wall. I slept on and off through the night. Saturday was a total blur and Sunday fever lowered but my throat was terribly sore as were my joints and neck. I walked down to the dock but even that exhausted me.

Like a trooper, I went into work today.

There are very few people who know the adoption journey took a terrible, deeply sad turn. I chose China cause I thought I wouldn't face that type of loss of dreams again.

So today, I chatted over the phone with one of the salesmen and he mentioned I sounded awful. We traded some "I feel crappy" stories and in the end he said:

jeez, it's not like you picked up some creepy crawly cold from daycare, you aren't even taking her to daycare yet. Imagine the stuff she'll bring home!

Best thing about that moment? There were 2 actually.

I was on the phone, would have cried if in person. Everything is just below the surface still.

and

For just a moment I thought about how nice, really, it would have been to have her bring home not only artwork but also a cold. I would gladly take any cold if she could just walk into my life this summer.

Just for a moment I could remember what it was like to look forward to the things some parents take for granted, to say the least.

I do not know where this will all end, I do not know if I'll pick up the pieces and start all over again. Financially, many doors will be closed, emotionally? If China was no longer the place I couldn't face this kind of loss again, where would be?

And you can only set yourself up so many times for this kind of loss. It's easy for me to think of the logical steps that may come months from now, but it's a different matter when you weigh the loss of a few pieces of your heart already.

Magpie Monday -Duke's Day

3 weeks ago life changed. Also around that time I received my next foster pup, Duke.

I've been blessed to have the pleasure of providing a solid, fun and safe home, a place of transition, for each of the foster pups I've helped. People say "I don't know how you could do it", in the end, it's easy, very easy. My heart certainly gets attached, but there is far greater joy out there to behold than just personal joy.

Providing a safe haven reaps rewards which can't be quantified, I look at a foster pup sleeping, safe, sound and in a warm home and I think, God what a great sight. I watch them gain weight at the same time as they gain confidence of their worth. I work with each dog to help make sure their adoptive home is a successful match. Teaching them manners is the least important item, teaching them to trust again and to depend on another is the greatest of goals and each time when it happens I feel great joy.

I'm sure some day I won't be able to let one go, but for now my role is one of transition.

And so we go back to the subject of Duke.

3 weeks ago I received him. 1 week ago I requested to take him to a vet for an eye issue (concerned he had partial vision in one eye) and so the rescue organization hooked me up with an Opthamologist. A Veterninary Opthamologist? Man I went into the wrong career, for sure, this is not the first time I've thought that either.

The office opened on a Saturday just for Duke and the place was over an hour north. I started to wonder where I was when I passed signs for Turtle Crossing AND Moose Crossing. Seriously? I started to wish I had a GPS (no, I do NOT have one) but figured I was so far from civilization it would work anyway. But the office was incredible, one of those quaint new england farm homes, near a town center out of a movie. The Vet was wonderful, having adopted from the same organization as Duke, and fell for Duke, his wife did too.

And they knew just 'the right family' for him.

As I waited for them to arrive to meet him and play with him I sat on the grass and soaked in the sun, the sounds and the great countryside smell. I looked down and saw imediately a 4 leaf clover. My first thought, gosh I wish this was a sign for some change with regard to Magpie, but that was a very fleeting thought.

Somewhere deep inside I knew right away this was Duke's lucky charm, it was his 4-leaf clover.

The family arrived, kids, son-in-laws, stayed over an hour with Duke and wanted to take him right then and there, but that's not allowed in the rescue organization.

They passed their homestudy today and next week he goes to a great home in Moose Country. I think this was another wonderful match made, with another great foster dog. So today I did my normal shopping for parting gifts, purchasing a care package of their favorite toys, food and if applicable, woobie.

Each one of them teaches me something different. This one taught me to smile in the midst of great sadness.

I may not be lucky, but am blessed.

(the picture is cell phone hideous, but you can tell what it is!)

Magpie Monday

I think about Magpie every day, many times a day. I think a lot about what it would have been like to watch the world unfold through her eyes.

I think about her when the sun sets and the stars shine, so bright, so incredible when you think about it.

I think about what she might see around her and what her perspective might have been.

To see if she too would have come to realize the thunder, rain, clouds and lightning are what make the sunlight so wonderful.

-if only thoughts were what could have made the dream come true. She would have already been in my arms, gazing up at the stars with me at night and listening to the water against the dock.

Magpie Monday

I continue to struggle with the reversal of my acceptance in the China program. It's hard to believe, 4 years after first being approved, more than 1.5 years after being approved the second time, updating all the documents the CCAA requested I update, that, well, the 1st and 2nd acceptance is being reversed.

Not only do I struggle with this reality, I struggle with how it comes to define who I am and what my wishes are (are, not were). One can say 'hey this does not define you' but it does, there's no way around it. Also defined are the strengths (and unfortunately the very clear weaknesses) of each of my friendships. In some cases, it just cemented what I already knew... there are friends and then there are true friends, the ones who stand behind and beside you, who cry and laugh with you, who would, and do, go to all lengths to help your dreams come true.

Then there are sadly the ones you think would help, they show horror and sorrow at the situation, but do nothing. Some are shocking, some predictable.

And so I shed the ones who really aren't true friends, just another loss over the last few weeks. I fill the emptiness with the abundance of real support from so many others. I am grateful and always will be.

There's not much in my world not impacted by a phone call just over a week ago that left me speechless.

So today's Magpie Monday post is a bit different. I'll leave it with just this link:

better days behind

it's the end

1,468.

That's the number of days I waited in line to get 'the call'.

And instead of hearing her name, finally and seeing the picture I've seen in my head over and over again, my call went something like this:

We are so sorry to tell you, but China has reversed their decision, has changed rules and they will no longer accept your file.

Magpie is after all of this time, forever resigned to being a figment of my imagination.

And to think, I was <60 days from my referral.

*************************************
Normally Photo Friday has it's own post on Friday. But not today.

I had this picture in a post for today that I had done ahead of time. What I wrote no longer seems appropriate given what's occurred.

Instead I'll say this: Made it out of the box, never out of the bag.

Man I really started to believe it was all coming together. I did believe that Magpie and I would form a family this summer.

Even her nursery was starting to form a strong image in my mind.

Saturday I am volunteering at a lab rescue event, I can only hope I find some salvation in it.

Magpie Monday -having it all figured out

(a few hours early)

As I've gotten older I like to think I've gotten wiser, maybe, maybe not. But I do know that the lessons I learned best in life, the ones I grew from the most, well, they were the ones where I didn't have it all worked out ahead of time.

Horrors of all horrors, I let go of control. Shhhhhh, don't tell anyone.

So on this Magpie Monday, I wish for Magpie the courage to set out on uncharted waters... even if others think the waters look just fine where you are, only you get to decide to go your own way...

Even if it's just you who hasn't charted them before...

You may gain bumps, bruises and cuts along the way... You'll swear you've looked a thousand times and there is NOT anything still holding that cabinet in place... there is, trust me... you just have to look hard.

Day 2 you may find those 6 screws you swore weren't there.

Along the way, you'll gain knowledge and confidence...

And just cause you don't know how to get there, doesn't mean you won't...

As you make progress, it may feel like it's a mess and it's worse than when it began, this is expected...

At times you'll have no tools, the wrong tools or the right tools but the wrong parts, and a limited budget to make it right... so get creative...

Sometimes you'll "take a break"... trust me, that's just some creative juice flowing (or was that drool? I digress)

Have the courage to recognize that not everything can be learned online, or should be...

Finally, sometimes risk of succeeding is worth the risk of failing.

And look at the bright spot, if you totally screw it up, you can always blame it on "a contractor" ;-)

Like most things in life, if you can dream it, you can do it. Have courage.

(and all of this? Sure, the cabinets are nice, though they aren't what I would have chosen, I'm not going to toss out good stuff. But the layout won't allow a dishwasher, there's no counter to sit at and there really is no room to roll out cookie dough... all critical elements for later on this year!)

(Plus, now I can ditch the fruit tiles. Fruit is for eating, not for decorating.)

(this is one of the 4 major projects I've 'started but not finished' and no this does not include your room, yet, and yes, the closet organizer is still in the backseat of the car.)

Peaceful quiet versus deafening silence

The night I wrote this I sat on my bedroom balcony, staring up at the stars, seeing the bonfire next door and while closing my eyes and soaking in the smell of the fire and the laughter of the kids. I thought of a post from a friend of mine, Sarah, about her son Gabriel. The night I wrote this was around the anniversary of her son's death, very similar to Sophia's.

She talked about the difference between the peace that comes from 'quiet' versus what it was like during delivery, 'a deafening silence'. I've written about this deafening silence. I compared her delivery room to a silent cavernous church or the sound deep in the ocean. I'll never forget it.

Defeaning silence.

I thought of that term as I sat on the balcony in my rocking chair, Ginger's head on my lap. I looked at the stars, I closed my eyes and soaked it all in again. And I thought about how much my life has changed in the last year, then I thought of how much it's changed in the last 10 years.

It's changed a lot, in some ways too much, in others, far far from enough.

I started to think of the events in my life that cemented who I am right now, all the ones I thought of occurred in those 10 years. There are a few huge ones before that timeframe, but most are not.

• Meeting Eric, it wasn't the marriage that changed my life, even though it did, it's meeting Eric that changed it. There were several moments over the first week we started dating that changed my life, deeply. Not even Eric knows about this. I am forever thankful for meeting him.
• The divorce. Peace and deep sadness all at once. The most selfless thing I've ever done.
• Saying goodbye, for what I thought was the last time, to my friend Ralf. For me, he is the one that got away. And it doesn't look like that will ever change.
• The death of my daughter, Sophia. Still not one day in the last 5 years I have not thought of her. Not. One. Day.
• Getting laid off.
• Opening the door to several friendships with individuals and families, while closing the door on others.
• Last summer. Another crossroad in my life.
• Losing Rascal and my Nana.
• Knowing I needed peace and finding it regardless of the cost. Literally.
• A very personal issue at a job I had.
• Hoping Magpie is a real part of my life and worrying it will never happen.

As I sat on the rocking chair I realized the majority of events impacting me in the last 10 years were not happy moments. And so I looked forward, hoping in the coming years my list is much different, much more fulfilling.

I closed my eyes, soaked in the smell and realized there was very little sound all around. It was the peace and comfort that comes on from a quiet sound rather than defeaning silence again. And I looked up at the stars, smelled the wonderful smell of a 'campfire' and imagined holding Magpie on my lap next summer and rocking with her on the balcony in the peace of the night. And I smiled. Not the just an outside smile, but the kind of smile that brings this special indescribable feeling to every fiber of your body. It's to the point now where I see her in so many things I do.

I'm ever grateful that almost all of the thoughts of her are not about 'I know nothing about children or diapers or what the hell is that cream for?'. No, not at all. She is there in the peaceful moments of life and I never realized it until that night. Thoughts of her just aren't present when I worry and fret about how the hell I'm going to do and what I'll be like as a mom. And for that I am thankful. The thoughts of her are all tied to the good things in life. It's a striking revelation for me.

I turn the corner to see yet another crossroad in the horizon, how far away I can't tell, but it's there.

deep.slow.breath.

(and no, I have no clue about diapers, I have changed less than a few in my life... the rest? OMG.)

Magpie Monday -Perspectives

Magpie has been on my mind a great deal lately and a conversation with a group online struck a particular chord I've been struggling with internally lately.

I wasn't sure I'd even write about this, but here goes.

I don't think I'll ever entirely feel like I'm on the inside looking out. I mean with regard to being a parent. I don't mean I won't be a parent as I'm hoping to God it all works out, but I mean part of me will likely always have the perspective of being on the outside looking in.

Some of it is because of all I've faced to get to even today, some is because I know I'll never stop missing Sophia and a lot of it is my pessimistic attitude. But there's part of me that feels like the people around me, some of them not all, will never look at me as a real parent, with Sophia nor Magpie. This burns me up inside and fills me with bitterness to the very core. The impact of the lack of acknowledgement is something I've not been able to shake and I am not sure I will.

Perhaps I'll be able to bury it sometimes, perhaps the bitterness will lessen over time, perhaps there will always be some way going forward that I feel that sense of honor from others. And the online group today touched just a bit on the sadness that can be a single parent on Mother's Day. Exactly who does make sure mom gets acknowledged (or dad on Father's day if it's a single dad) on Mother's Day? I try not to think of it going forward, and I have no recollection going backwards when I was just a child and being raised by a single mom.

On the rare moments I do allow myself to think about it, sadness surrounds me. I instantly remember all the years since my first daughter Sophia died and how I can count on one hand and an extra finger or two, the number of times anyone acknowledged that yes I did indeed go through labor, delivery and give birth. It jsut didn't work out the way anyone planned. But does not having things go as planned mean you don't acknowledge any of it? Do you penalize the people around you with silence for getting part of the way there but missing the brass ring?

Hell even teachers give partial credit or grade on the curve.

I wish, wish, wish, I didn't still, at 40, feel this overwhelming urge to be validated, to feel important to others. But sadly I still do.

I can only hope that someday I measure my worth for what I personally believe and also by the handpainted things that make their way home from school for "mom". And in the end, that's how this post wound up on Magpie Monday. This will be a post that may never be shared with her, I am not sure.

No matter how much I want to be validated, I don't consciously want to invalidate anyone else when I can help it.

Perspectives. Sometimes it's just not that easy.

The stuff that dreams are made of

(I wrote this post on April 28th and thought I might just sit on it, not posting it. But today I decided I wanted to post it, for one reason and one reason only.)

Last night I had a dream. It was vivid, it was nearly tangible and midway through I'm quite certain I woke, thought about it and then went back to sleep. And the dream was as vivid hours later as it was the moment I realized I was dreaming.

It was comforting.

It was happiness.

It was a dream come true.

Last night, for the first time in nearly 3 years I dreamed of Magpie. I dreamed I got her referral while I was at work. It was a total surprise, for some reason it seemed like it came earlier than anyone thought it would. The agencies banking on the fall for referral and me banking on July or August, but it came before then. It came in a large batch (in terms of days not people) that went from late April all the way through to May 11th. (I told you the dream was quite vivid). In the dream I remained composed and didn't tell anyone at work yet as I had others I wanted to tell first. (the thought that I could contain any emotion and hide it is quite a dream) And so I made a few calls to certain people and went about popping online to send out a notice.

It was interesting.

I created a post on The Lounge (an online Forum I'm in) with just her picture, that's all. After I did my solo calls thats where I wanted to announce it. Shortly after I posted just her picture on the blog.

She was wearing a bright pink shirt (I have this color in one of the squares for her 100 Good Wishes Quilt) that was sort of in a pattern of clouds made of candy pink and fluffly white. Magpie was young, quite young, 5 1/2 months, which I see occuring more often but it's still not all that common. I even saw her name and heard the translation but that's the one part that escapes memory.

There was more, but that's all for now. And this is the stuff that dreams are made of.

Literally and Figuratively.

And as I hit the post button I take a deep breath.

Magpie Monday

For Magpie literally and figuratively.

Remember that with great risk comes great reward. I'm learning this lesson now in life, better late than never.

(from the wonderful online Etsy shop, Buttercup Bloom, a fellow adoptive mom in waiting. Her stuff is truly cool, fun and beautiful.)

Magpie Monday

(set this up as a scheduled post and once again it reverted to draft after I closed it. uhg. Anyway, it's still Magpie Monday!)



July 5, 2010

 

A girl can dream right?

Magpie Monday - April 15th

Quick advice to Magpie:

1.  Don't wait till a few days before the tax deadline to start working on your taxes, especially when you had a variety of different new credits and 'debits'.

2. Don't assume you owe just cause of the changes you incurred, though let's face it, this is true more often than not.

3. When you put your tax documents in a "safe place", make sure you can remember where it is. (Eric used to joke that whenever I said I can't find something, he would say "did you put it in a safe place?" and of course, as we both knew, "I had".)

4. When in doubt, check, double check, triple check with a few online estimators, then find a damn accountant.

Crap crap crap I should have done this sooner.

Did I say CRAP?!!!!

10 Sports I hope Magpie doesn't take up

I use the term "sports" quite lightly in some cases:

1. midget dwarf tossing
2. cage fighting, enough said.
3. Buzkashi -see link here. Holy Shit, you can't make this stuff up. Go look at the link, seriously.
4. Extreme Ironing, invented in England, official website, not I'm not making this up either, here.
5. Bog Snorkeling, again, this is real and invented in England.
6. Cheese Chasing, invented in, you guessed it, England.
7. Shin Kicking. Go see it at the Cotswold Olympicks in cheery old England, what's up with England?
8. Wife Carrying. Prize? Wife's weight in beer. Now that's romance for you.
9. Camel Wrestling, believe it or not, this one is NOT invented in England.
10. And last but not least, competitive pole dancing, which I heard about on of all places, NPR.

Yes, it's still Magpie Monday, I just chose to mix up the content a bit.

Magpie Monday -New England

Magpie, it's important you learn the following things, and early on, as long as we're located in New England. So here goes:

1. Rotaries - traffic IN the circle has the right of way, except when you have the biggest vehicle, or you are native to New England.
2. The T is located in Boston, subways are what you find in NYC ;-)
3. No matter what someone says, it is not a good idea to stick your tongue to anything cold in winter.
4. In the fall, leaves are meant to be played in, not just bagged and disposed of.
5. Oil is not something on your face or that you cook with, it is a recognized form of heating.
6. There are 5 seasons, spring, summer, fall, early winter, mid winter and when the hell is it going to end winter.
7. The Cape is not an article of clothing.
8. The phrase Light Dawns on Marblehead is not common or understood outside of New England. Trust me, you'll look dumb using it.
9. You'll discover when you get older that what you learn about US History while in high school is dependant on where you grow up. Uhm, not that I've ever done that.
10. A lobster roll is NOT the same as a Lobster Salad Roll, do not be fooled. Lobster Roll or bust.

In preparation for your venture into the world outside of New England:

1. The phrase "if you don't like the weather, wait a minute and it will change" is overused and not unique to New England. It's said EVERYWHERE I've ever lived (WV, CT, NY, MD, MA...) or visited (NC, AK, IL, OH, SC, MI, MS, LO, RI, AZ, CA, ... get the picture?).
2. Humidity is a phenomenom that does in fact occur outside of bathrooms.
3. The world is a big place and no less special than where you grew up.
4. The kaykaykay is not something you read about in history books, it's real. I saw them marching down mainstreet in a small town in OHIO in the mid 90's.
5. There are other kinds of soup besides New England Clam Chowder. Try them.
6. People do not swim in 50-60 F water and consider it warm.
7. People may think you talk weird. Humor them, they don't know how weird they sound.
8. Most people won't consider an airport international just cause it flies into Montreal or Toronto.
9. You cannot visit 4-6 states in one day.
10. Not everyone has ever seen or experienced snow.

Magpie Monday -Very Important Post (VIP)

Remember Magpie, whenever there's an option, the only right way to hang TP is OVER, this is scientifically proven (I cannot take credit for this post, I found it online):

Essential Life Lesson #1: Over is Right, Under is Wrong
As part of our ongoing effort here at Current Configuration to make your life not only better, but also 10% more crunchy, we’re offering you this first installment of what will be an ongoing series of Essential Life Lessons. Kicking off this series will be a critical but even-handed examination of a common misunderstanding that occurs in a realm of many misunderstandings: the bathroom.

Put simply, there is a right way to hang the toilet paper, and a wrong way. Read on to determine the status of your own roll.

Toilet paper has a natural curve, a way of being that lends itself to certain orientations on the toilet paper spool.* If handled with skill and knowledge, it can provide an abundance of both sanitation and comfort, quilted together in each square of pillowy ply. If handled with clumsy ignorance, or worse, carelessness, it will beset the user with pain, filth, and frustration. Don’t let it end this way, with you curled on the tile floor of the stall, weeping in frustration, covered in wasted papier de toilette. To convince you, we’ve created some diagrams, harnessing the power of SCIENCE, to demonstrate the natural benefits of the over hanging method. First, we examine the optimal viewing benefits of the over hanging method.

Below are examples of the helpful and fruitful over-hung method on the left and the annoying and detrimental under-hung method on the right.

Notice the dramatic difference in the amount of visible toilet paper. Ironically, it is the over-hung toilet paper that has both the most visible free sheetage and the least amount of sheetage free from the roll to do it. Now, this may not seem like a big deal on its own, but in these extra sheets lies your undoing. Observe.

We here at Current Configuration, for the purposes of ease and expediency, do the one-handed tear (okay, really, it’s just me, but bear with me, er, us). The one-handed tear is a quick maneuver that takes advantage of the perforated squares, allowing your bundle of toilet paper to be liberated with one quick swipe of the arm. This is the foundation of bathroom ease, the cottony bedrock on which enjoyment rests in the restrooms of many nations.

The one-handed tear relies on a quick and forceful motion directed either away from or towards the tear-er. The forces applied in this motion are great and, like the atom, are not to be trifled with. The natural curve of the over-hung method allows the roll to stand fast after a one-handed tear, but the under-hung method creates a calamitous tendency in the roll. This tendency can only lead to this:

Wasted paper, frustration, the destruction of our forests. While we realize that it is possible to execute a one-handed tear on an under-hung roll, this is a game of sanitary Russian roulette. You are bound to lose eventually, and there is no re-rolling an unwound toilet paper roll. The results will only cause you grief. Don’t let this happen to you. Restroom attendants, janitors, maids, facilities crews, and responsible toiletowners take note: Don’t use the under-hung method for your toilet paper rolls. It leads to the destruction of our precious resources and the pillars of civilization as we know it!

*Does that thing have a proper name?

Magpie Monday -Ad Libbing

(it's a few hours early but I don't feel like screwing around with the auto post feature tonight.)

Anyone remember the paper games (yeah, the younger generation is not only scratching their heads at paper, but paper games?) where you could "Ad Lib", except they called it "Mad Lib"?

You'd get this template, with lots of blanks and you could write any crazy thing in them, usually you fooled someone to be the guinea pig and have them tell you which adjectives, verbs, nouns to use.

You'd laugh and giggle and roll with delight at how crazy the stories in the Mad Lib's could get.

I think life is like a Mad Lib. One giant template, yours for the taking.

Seriously, think about it. What better analogy to life could there be? You heard it here first, along with People Are Like Eggs, Soulprints vs Footprints and a plethora of other phrases ;-)

Really, all kidding aside. We all get a template, we come with a pulse, some genetic code and the environments our parents provide initially, the rest is up for grabs. We can fill in the blanks with anything our heart desires.

So Magpie, remember the 3 most important lessons from Mad Libs:

1. Humor is a pretty damn important thing.
2. Learning the difference between adjectives, nouns, etc can be a lot of fun.
3. It's not the template that makes the journey fun, it's what you fill the blanks of your life with.

By the way, can you believe it, the iPhone has an app for Mad Libs.

Magpie Monday's -Tick, Tick, Tick

Agency predictions are all over the place, seems like the first time it's been this way in several years, at least 2 I'd say. And so here in lies my first post in many years about looking forward, something I rarely allow myself to do.

Some agencies are telling their early May LID's to expect a referral in Oct/Nov, others are predicting as early as June. That's a big window and the June side of things is virtually around the corner.

So here's what's pending:

1. i800a... still not submitted
2. fingerprinting for i800a... note the application is not yet submitted
3. round 2 and 3 of Hep A and B vaccines, 1 in 2 weeks, last one in 5 months
4. daycare resolved
5. tell new place of employment about it to begin with and that surprise, it may take place sooner rather than later
6. finish painting the first floor (about a full day left)
7. get taxes done
8. build the window seating/storage unit, this is not a small window seat, it's an "L" (for Lisa!!!) about 4 feet on the short side by 6 feet on the long side... along with cushions. This helps with both seating and a huge lack of storage.
9. paint the spare bedroom, not the nursery, but the other spare bedroom
10. continue to drag feet on anything to do with nursery, except for disassembling the full bed frame so it could be used as a crib if needed (will also need to purchase new bedframe since there will be none for the full bed)
11. finish the decorating of the library nook/spiral staircase vault area... I've selected all of the photos I've taken that I want to use and have a number of very large frames purchased... a little at time.
12. Get the 30 year old furnace (oil) replaced with something new (oil, gas, elec???) and INSTALL A/C -yeahhhhh! (the humidty last year caused new envelopes to seal shut and books to swell -forget about sleeping)
13. landscaping -rip out the stuff I've realized though it's nice, I don't like and install my favorites!
14. Have kennel run/fencing installed so Ginger can be outside all day rather than in the crate while I'm at work.
15. Take parenting class (April).
16. Start up the planter garden again, was a lot of fun last year, even got corn to grow ;-)
17. Tell the team that reports to me so they aren't blindsided.
18. Make time for friends I haven't seen in a while who'd like to make time too!
19. Continue to be conservative with regard to the nursery/gear prep.
20. Maybe, Maybe, throw a day at the lake with my team and peers.
21. Spend QT with Ginger and finally start to walk with her on the nice evenings. For that matter, do more weekend hiking.
22. Get the shit at work squared away and back on track from the mess I walked into.
23. Decide on biting the bullet and redoing an old and needs replacing bathroom with issues, or plan to hold off for a few years... thinking, thinking. Not sure.
24. Set up Gazebo so it can finally be used in the fall, spring and summer months. Maybe even camp down there a few evenings.
25. Install posts to use the hammock down by the dock.
26. Maybe paint my bedroom.
27. Do round gazillion of downsizing my 'stuff'.
28. Fingers crossed, purchase a new digital camera and learn to use it. The old one is a first generation SLR, is 6 years old, both batteries don't hold a charge for more than 30-50 shots and one lense is dead. The cost to repair and replace these parts is not insignificant.
29. Do something with the crappy patch job on the floor (it's not just a patch nightmare... they used wall trim to cover the joints) and "maitre d stand" in the middle of the kitchen/dining area... those who've been here know what I'm talking about.
30. Continue to be at peace with life and grateful, really grateful, to be right where I am in life.
31. Celebrate, really celebrate, my 41st birthday, it could be my last one as a SINK.
32. Continue to surround myself with those who really matter.

With working at least one weekend day a week and more than 10 hours a day M-F this is a lot of stuff to do in the next few months, let alone next 6-9 months.

Though I wish had all the time in the world to travel and take time off work, I don't wish for that as much as I wish for Magpie. Man, I really long for Magpie.

So today, this Magpie Monday comes on Sunday, a bit early, and is just an insight into what lies ahead.