Remember when you were a kid? Like eons ago? Reach back, the memories are there, we're not that old yet.
Did you ever take part in one of those exercises where one of your 5 senses is 'turned off'? Sort of as a way to 'see' the world through the eyes of someone who might not be able to see or hear?
I don't remember doing that. We might have, but it clearly didn't make an imprint on my mind if I did it. I really believe if I had experienced it, after this week I would be having flashbacks.
My cold switched into an all out war on some of my 'abilities'. Monday and Tuesday last week in the afternoons my hearing would turn off. My hearing went on hiatus completely though for a few days starting on Wednesday, only coming back about 50% on Sunday. During that time, on Tuesday I lost my voice and it returned from vacation, someplace peaceful and sunny I bet, on Saturday. During that time I also couldn't wear contacts in one eye due to an infection, yeah, cruel addition.
(during this time a second trip to the doctors resulted in someone taking things seriously, loading me up on some meds and low and behold... it was some kind of bacterial infection after all.)
It was a little challenging to do much of anything. I had a minor amount of hearing, you know, where you turn the TV up to 30-40 when you normally listen to it at 5, and you turn down the base as far as you can to keep the house from sliding down the hillside with the vibrations. Beyond that I could not talk (no voice) and could not hear conversations. More than once I ruined something in the stove cause I couldn't hear the timer go off.
Today (Sunday) was the first day I felt well enough to walk down to the dock and lay on the hammock, Ginger chilled in the grass. But it wasn't the same. Normally I listen to the wonderful sounds of the water lapping the dock and birds singing, and gosh how I missed the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind.
To say the loss of voice and hearing was lonely is an understatement. I was out of my element, and I'm not even a chatty cathy.
For those who know me best, well, I even skipped out on cake (and icing) (or was that icing, and cake?) at the birthday party next door. What was I gonna do? I couldn't hear or talk and it was a party. I was at a loss to fit in at home, let alone someone else's.
So this afternoon, I went up to the house after laying on the hammock a bit. It was just lonely. I tried yet one more 'home remedy' to get my ears to clear and I gladly took the pain when just the tiniest of pressure adjustments came through. I got back about half of what I lost and I'm sure the rest will follow in the coming days.
As I lay on the hammock later in the afternoon, I closed my eyes and listened to the birds chirping, the water hitting the dock and I smiled, on the outside and the inside. It was wonderful.
My voice and hearing going on temporary hiatus is yet another reminder I welcome that life is about the simple things and, life in general is good. I am far from where I thought I would be at this stage, there is no nursery, no travel planning, no excitement. But I have my hearing, my voice and my love of life.
As a side note, Blue Heron's (I've heard) have been on the lake for decades, that afternoon one came swooping low, right at the dock and landed on it about 20 feet from the hammock. It stayed briefly. Ginger decided to make a beeline for it and I watched it glide away to it's normal spot a few docks down. I'd never seen it land on my dock, normally it nests on the north end of the lake and hangs out sometimes a few houses down from me. Even more ironic, my neighbors just pulled the boat away from the dock and they were fairly close also.
If I close my eyes I can still hear it landing on my dock. I am grateful for the gift of sound.
4 comments:
So on New Year's Day I saw a blue heron in my back. Searched on the internet and found:
According to North American Native tradition, the Blue Heron brings messages of self-determination and self-reliance. They represent an ability to progress and evolve. The long thin legs of the heron reflect that an individual doesn't need great massive pillars to remain stable, but must be able to stand on one's own.
Blue Herons have the innate wisdom of being able to manoeuvre through life and co-create their own circumstances. Blue Herons reflect a need for those with this totem to follow their on unique wisdom and path of self-determination. These individuals know what is best for themselves and need to follow their hearts rather than the promptings of others. Those with the Medicine of the Great Blue Heron may sit until the rest of us lose patience. And, when they follow the promptings of the heart, they are one of the most magnificent when they choose to soar.
This is the message that Blue Heron brings."
from: http://www.blueheronenv.com/meaning.htm== Answer ==
In Egypt the heron is considered the creator of light.
In China the heron is a symbol of strength, purity, and long life.
Native Americans consider the heron a symbol of wisdom and a very good omen.
I'm glad you are feeling better!
Blue Herons are one of my absolute favorite birds. There are many around here but I always love seeing them. I used to see them often on my route to work in a couple of places from our old house... once after a storm one flew over our yard - sooo close to me! Awesome.
I'd never read any of the information about blue herons posted above. Interesting!
What a special place you are in.
Hopefully, you are on the mend. How awful to go through all of this, yet how amazing you find the peace. LOVE what our Hulumama wrote. Gave me chills!
A friend in my book club went blind in her late 20's. Listening to her story and the way she thinks has impacted me greatly. I especially love that she gets to always keep the picture in her mind of being young, beautiful and thin, rather than having to see reality in the mirror. It's all in our perspective!
gratitude is a gift, in and of itself.
glad you are working your way back to the living.
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