Raw

Earlier this week I mentioned how I talked to my boss and a few people at work about Magpie and that I wanted to circle back. 2 very important things happened, I could even go so far as to say 2 validating things happened.

Boss conversation:
I'm not sure he could have been happier. As I told (briefly) about how I'm still in line, in spite of life's changes, he was brimming with happiness. His happiness was practically tangible. It made the conversation so easy and he was clearly on board and excited for me. I couldn't have asked for anything better, he's a great guy inside and out.

Other conversations:
I found out someone I'm close to went through, in recent years, a lot of trials and tribulations to try and have children. Her marriage suffered the wrath like far too many marriages due to an inability to get pregnant and give birth and what it puts a couple through. She battled IVF many times to no avail. Her loss, her trials, they are my life experiences too.

I realized I had to be delicate, I realized I wanted to talk to her privately before the grapevine started producing wine. This inside information reminded me of parts of my very real past:

There are times when the annoncement of a child, by birth or adoption, may not be easy for everyone.

I had nearly forgotten what it was like to be on the outside looking in. But it all came screaming back. The years, the pain, the surgeries, the procedures, having my uterus among other parts get as much exposure as a flasher in a back alley.  And it's not that I forgot about the pain of Sophia's death and birth, it's more so the reality of being able to numb that ousider feeling. And that caught me by surprise.

So I sat down and talked with her one night. I delicately shared my news while letting her know I understood very clearly what it was like to be infertile, to face a marriage that had collapsed and to realize your body failed you. We had a good conversation, I think, and I'm so grateful I had the benefit of insider information. I'm fortunate over and over again for the great people I work with.

I wrote recently that I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be at this time in my life. So many of my peers, team members and others have faced infertility, one person had a child die late term, like me. A few others faced years of infertility, some winning the war, others being unable to. So many adopted children, foster children and extended families with adopted children, even from China.

It's a strange cluster of commonality. It's comforting.