What brought me to this?
A discussion with an agency rep and her concern about "have you thought about how your life will change as a single parent and have you thought about whether or not you'll be able to juggle this all especially with regard to your working hours?"
WOW, really, golly gee Wally I hadn't thought of these things over the 4 years I've been waiting. Maybe I should rethink all this. Man, I totally had a blond moment for a few years there and didn't think about it.
Let's see, FOUR years of waiting, okay, well, let's admit, it's only been 3. 95 years, it will be 4 in a few weeks.
Have I thought about all this? Seriously? Let's try this on for size.
- I am the product of a single parent, I saw it first hand and I also saw lots of other single parents, men and women, raise great kids, great members of society, in difficult times and we all had fun along the way inspite of challenges.
- I saw lots of dual parent household with horrible role models for both adult individuals and how to build a strong relationship with another person. Sure, 2 parents are better than one... when they are meant to be together and have love for each other.
- I have made this choice over a lot of time, very slowly, very consciously, very carefully. I am not naive or blind to the challenges I'll face and that several things will be different than it was for my mom.
- I do NOT plan NOR WILL I allow it to happen where I continue to work the hours I do. I waited 40 years for this, I'm not going to do it half assed. I'm putting my dues in now and plan to cash in the chips no matter what, even if the chips turn out to be worthless.
HELL YES.
But the important thing here is that I've been trying to bring a child into my life for TEN YEARS so I have a great advantage. I got the pleasure of thinking, rethinking, hashing, rehasing over and over, again and again, did I mention how I did this repeatedly?
Do I have all the answers.
No.
Do I expect to.
No.
Do I think I'll make mistakes.
Yes.
Do I believe I can do this.
Yes.
Do I want this more than anything else and will I put a child first.
YES.
Please don't ever lecture me again on how I may not be capable of balancing my life as it exists. Bottom line, none if it EVER (biological or not) goes perfect and I don't plan to try for perfection.
I plan to try for happiness, love, security, support, fun... and figure it all out as I go along, and I plan to make mistakes. I am human. That's the way that life was really meant to be.
Sorry about the interruption to Magpie Monday.
4 comments:
You pass the test. You are surely ready.
Eff her. How dare she!
Single Moms By Choice have done nothing BUT THINK and plan and prepare. Are you kidding me?
I know that you thought all of this through more than many others would have when you chose to continue as a single parent. No one ever has it all figured out in the beginning. I would have expected this from a SW if you were new to the process but this person shows her stupidity in asking these things of you now.
I know that you thought all of this through more than many others would have when you chose to continue as a single parent. No one ever has it all figured out in the beginning. I would have expected this from a SW if you were new to the process but this person shows her stupidity in asking these things of you now.
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