thanks

So to provide a bit of balance to the "Stew vs Vent" post I just added below, here are the things I'm thankful for since our daughter died, I've learned that even with great loss, there comes along with it, great sunshine and warmth.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Those who lent us their shoulders, their time and their tears.

T and J who spent nearly a week with us and endured a very very depressing Thanksgiving with us. I know it was hard and horrible all at once.

T and J, for cooking us Thanksgiving dinner and letting us not be Thankful this year.

M and R, who took care of our pets when we spent the night at the hospital.

M and D for giving us one of the few homecooked meals we had during the first few days... otherwise we would have eaten donuts until T and J came.

Those who called and called and called us, and left repeated messages on our answering machine even though we spent weeks not picking up the phone. they didn't let our silence get in the way of making sure we KNEW they were there for us.

Those who patiently received the saddest of emails from me over and over again, and yet never complained and never let one go unanswered.

K, for flying up to spend the weekend with us when Sophia's due date approached and then coming again 2 weeks later and again in a few weeks.

Those who've recognized that I was a mom and E was a dad, even if only for a fleeting moment and that Mother's and Father's Day isn't just for those in the world with living children.

My friends in the online groups who've just listened and supported.

The social worker at GBMC who bent over backwards week after week to just "be there for us".

Those who volunteered again and again to fly, drive, whatever, to be there for us, whenever needed them, and when asked, they came.

Those who were called on for support and came through, many of you much more than once.

My friends at work who made sure that in the days I returned I was given all the space and time in the world possible to try to get back to as much normal as possible. They made a horrible transition so much easier.

The person who shared their own very personal loss and helped me understand how hard the holidays would be and prepared me for the very real fact that outsiders might not get it.

Those who've called or emailed since it happened and continually ask how we are, not settling for the 'superficial' answer but going deeper into how we REALLY are.

The many many people who wanted to know more about what happened, who had the courage to ask, to listen, to deal with all the horrible reality that the loss of a child in this manner really is. Those who were willing to let it all hang out and cry along with us for as long as the tears flowed out.

The people who had the courage to share in Sophia's memory box, the hospital bracelets, clothes, footprints, handprints, and all the sympathy cards. THis experience is about as raw as life gets and we know most people really didn't want to take part in it.

For all the incredible, heartwrenching notes and condolences, many of them handwritten, that were sent. Each day the mailman brought pain but he also brought joy. We were touched by some of the things people said.

To my mom for calling every few days in the beginning and nearly every week since and making sure she was there for us, I know she lived in her own personal hell throughout it all.

Mostly, thanks to those who gave us their time, their hearts, their love, over and over again and didn't stop supporting us and reaching out to us when for everyone else, life started moving again.

I know I named some people personally but that doesn't mean there weren't others.



Lastly, to our daughter Sophia, thank you for teaching us how deep we can love our children and for bringing us to China.