one of those moments

Did you ever have one of those moments you wish you could erase...?

Each year we have a family of birds create a nest on the wreath on our front door.

This year we didn't notice one there but had been checking out this massive (2-3") moth on our wreath hanger. It was there for 2 days and today it was gone. So I decide to check out the wreath. It didn't seem as if any birds had created a home there yet but I noticed some extra twigs weaved in and thought I would remove it before they started a nest...

...that was the moment I wish I could change...

down fell 2 eggs into our foyer, one light blue, one pale brown with speckles, needless to say they cracked.

The birds, tiny tiny birds, had created a nest so small it wasn't easy to see it. In cleaning up the mess I could hear the male and female chirping and flying around the front door.

I picked up what was left of the nest and removed it, that's when I found one small egg left, wedged into the wreath. It had fallen out of the nest when I removed the twigs(I hope, I think) and had not cracked open. So I wedge the nest back, put the egg in it and wait.

The birds returned, at least they had earlier. Maybe they've taken up residence on the nest again, but for how long is now the question.

I feel awful, I'd be lying if part of me didn't flash back to losing our daughter. Those poor birds flying, chirping, circling wondering how things had changed so fast and so badly. Like us driving around the beltway to the hospital that night, wishes against all hope things weren't as we knew they were. No, I'm not sliding into a massive depression as a result of the egg incident, but I sure do feel sad. I'm the type of person who'd rather hit a tree than an animal on the road.

The old adage, "leave well enough alone" sure would have been wise to follow.

:(