Here's to some much needed humor to describe the wait for adoption. Please, add to the list in the comments section, I KNOW I have some funny readers out there.
You know you've waited a long time when:
The number of months you've waited is greater than your age
People forget you're adopting
SS reminds you of how much you will collect when you retire
Your months waiting is greater than both your ages combined
You pack up, move 2 times, unpack entirely each time and change jobs while waiting
AARP stuff starts showing up
Your friends have multiple children, and not from one pregnancy
Bell bottoms come back in style for the 3rd time since the 70's
Your 25th and 30th high school reunions take place
You have your 3rd, each of them touted as your final, babymoon
The threads on the baby clothes you bought start to fray just from hanging out in the closet
You purchase your THIRD 'waiting for Magpie' ornament for christmas
You joins lots of groups, eat them all up, boot them all out of your life and repeat the cycle multiple times
You lose track of just how many months you are logged in
You forget what year you were "LID"
You learn what the term "asymtotic" means in reference to youir current and predicted wait on a graph
Your "new" flat screen TV is now "old" and the technology outdated
You could have gone to college, gotten a 4 year degree and graduated
You wonder what the people at Sam's club will think when you buy adult and baby diapers in bulk
You get baby product ads in the mail saying "your baby is now 37 months old, here's what they are doing"
Your baby registry expires and you have to start over
We get Universal Health care in the US
The books on your wish list go out of print
You sign up for the "Frequent Fingerprinting Card" at the Immigrations department
You've completed round 3 of "The Packing List"
You've created a 3-d map, by hand, of all the places you plan to shop/visit in China
You've written a book about what adoption from China is like, but you haven't finished the adoption and yet the book is a best seller
George W. Bush opens a Presidential Library and it's recognized for being a truly great place of learning.
You rationalize not starting the quilt... what, you've got at least another year, you've told yourself this several years in a row
You grow your hair out for Locks of Love, which requires 12 inches of length on top of what you already have... you realize you could do this multiple times.
You vote for president, multiple times
The war in Iraq is still on
You've given up the war on your grey hair
Britney Spears gets married again, has more kids and gets divorced again
Your friends with referrals and children already, who like you were stuck in "The Wait" drop their kid off at preschool, you have another year left.
The cute plastic toys and cups you bought during that first rush of excitement, aka years 0-2 of The Wait, are now faded, cracked and you consider tossing them.
They finish the Space Station
15 comments:
You know you've waited a long time when:
-you started out old enough to b e a mom and now your old enough to be your own child's grandmother.
-you start out dreaming of playing with your new baby and how much fun you are going to have and now your dreaming of what younger kids you know that are going to help you play with the baby.
-people in your life think you made up the whole "China Adoption thing"
- planning your retirement and what preschool she will go to at the same time.
- Your parents stop saying "I hope I live long enough to see this kid" and start saying "I hope YOU live long enough to see this kid"
- You are starting to understand those people talking about the lady who has all this kid stuff and rooms decorated but no sign of a kid. Recommend a consult, anyone?
ok, good start guys.
How about:
You forget you're adopting, think it's all some crazy dream.
You forget what the term "LID" stands for and your friends have to tell you.
I'm thinking I'm taking part in one of those therapy sessions where the therapist encourages you to shout awful things and sream and rant. I'ts working.
Lisa, what happens if you are the therapist who is waiting? Would it be ok for the therapist to start shouting and ranting??? It's been close a few times...
You know you have been waiting a long time when you start repeating Chinese Zodiac signs for the year of your child's birth.
When you start giving away some of the things you purchased for your baby as baby gifts for others. It's best that SOMEONE use it before it goes out of style.
When you loan out the pack-n-play that someone gave you for your child, and the children you lend it to are now too big to use it.
When a friend can discover her husband is cheating on her, get divorced, have a nervous breakdown, fall madly in love, and get engaged all since you have been DTC.
You have been waiting so long that you could probably spend the entire day on the computer writing comments on Lisa's Blog about all the things that have changed since starting to wait.
Lisa - I would have emailed you, though I didn't see a link option for that & I'm not sure if you're looking back at older posts for new comments - so I'm commenting here...a bit out of context. I just finished reading about the loss of your daughter, Sophia, and I just wanted to extend my sincere regret for the pain that you and E have been through. I've been around this scene for a while - as hubs and I are nearing our 24th month of waiting for Amelia - and I've never read a personal account that touched me so deeply as yours. We too lost our child before Christmas - it was in 2004. I never got to feel our little one move, as I was only a few months along - but the pain of the loss was paralyzing just the same. When you lose a child as early in term as we did, people minimize the tragedy - whether they mean to or not. Regardless of time - we will never "get over" the loss of our child and all of the hopes and dream we had for that special life we created. I feel so fortunate to be so close to our referral & to finally have my hope restored some - though even with a 12/19/05 LID, I can't help but to fear the carpet being pulled out from under. I just want you know that the closer you get - the more that hope shines a little brighter; I promise.
We did a similar post a while back...Here's our Top 10 Ways You Know You've Waited Too Long For a Referral From China:
10. You've stopped telling people you're adopting from China because chances are the next time you run into them you'll still be waiting.
9. When someone tells you a far off date in the future as 12-18 months you think to yourself "wow, that's coming up so soon!"
8. You know people who have had two kids in the time you've been waiting for a referral from China.
7. The last Olympics were happening when you started trying for a family and there's a good chance you'll be in China for the '08 Olympics there.
6. You know couples who have gotten engaged, married and had a baby all while you've been trying to start a family.
5. You try out all the baby stuff on the cat to "practice"--and you take pictures to post on your website because there's no other news to report.
4. You automatically convert the time to Beijing time in your head because you think maybe the CCAA is working on referrals.
3. Your nursery bedding has been discontinued.
2. You've had to dust cobwebs off the changing table in the nursery.
1. You've gone on your last childless vacation.....5 times!!!
Love, love, love the list!!!
1.When the adoption front looks so grim fron your own seat that you start pondering if you shouldn't forget about having a child and decide to ________ instead. In my case it would be to buy a house.
2.People ask "are you really adopting?"
3. They no longer ask anything.
Very good lists!
Keep smilin!
I needed this...and the additions - I SO feel it!!
Especially:
kathryn said...
-people in your life think you made up the whole "China Adoption thing"
i-con said...
- Your parents stop saying "I hope I live long enough to see this kid" and start saying "I hope YOU live long enough to see this kid"
Ha! But these sentiments have really been expressed to me.
You have other children sleep in the crib you put up for your own child...
Oh jeez, I did all those things. It's crazy. 6-8 months? Ha.
Popped on over from Firegirl's site, love your list. Going to spend some time wandering your blog. Looks fun. Oh, and we are in the NE also! :)
Good luck on your wait, I honestly know exactly what it feels like.
/hugs,
Kiy
I thought of a few more...
The new car you bought, in preparation for finally becoming a family, is now paid off.
The Trans Siberian Orchestra finally finishes their new album before your child comes home.
you take the room that was the stroage room, that became the nursery and turn it back into the storage room.
Lisa.........this is hysterical.
love it
it's so f'ed up
you gotta laugh when you can at the situation
lets see:
you know you've wait too long when your sw comes to your house with a 6 pack of beer and a movie
to do your next update
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