Blocking the Sun

I mentioned a while back a woman I had met who had the most interesting quotes, well another one has stuck with me and I think about it often.

You can't block the sun with your hand.

The literal interpretation is obvious, try holding your hand up to block the sun and what happens? Your eyes squint less but not much else right? Put on sunglasses, it filters the light but you still see the sun right? Close your eyes and you still see the warm pink hue coming through the lids right? Put a beach umbrella up, get some shade, but you can't get the shade without the sun being there, right?

And so I thought more about this phrase. I thought about it in relationship to my life and then to the world around me.

I thought about how many years I spent trying to become the daughter in law that my inlaws needed and wanted me to be and to be the soulmate to Eric that he deserved. I finally realized it was never going to happen, because, things that are inherent and natural just can't be easily changed. And perhaps they shouldn't be. I am who I am, and I finally, after years of trying to be different, realized that I am okay as I am. My sunlight may have a different hue than theirs, but it's my sunlight and any attempts to hide it just make it that much more obvious.

I can't block my sunlight with my hand.

I thought about things that 'just are'. Things like deep love that wasn't expected, friendships that grow out of nowhere. Things like the angst you feel when something stresses you. Sure, you can put a good cover on that book, stick a big smile on your face and hide the inside, but the inside is still there, and just like the sun it will come shining out eventually.

You can't block your sunlight with your hand.

One can try really hard to hide things, to deny things, to fit into their surroundings, to be like everyone else. But in the end our true self is just that, it's our true self. And quite frankly, what's wrong with that? Isn't it okay for you to be you and me to be me and for both of us and all the other us's out there, to just be who they are? Why is it we spend so much time noticing peoples differences instead of just warming in the glow of their particular sunlight?

It's like the beach umbrella, people notice the umbrella, the pretty or not so pretty colors, the glaring sun, but how many people take the time to notice that no matter how the light filters around and through that umbrella, it still casts the same shadow. Our sunlight hue may be different, the glow we give off may be different, but the shadows we cast are the same.

Cause pretty much the only thing with the power to block the sun is the moon, and even then it's a rare rare occurence and even then, if you look close enough, you can still see the sun flares flying around the edge of the moon.

You can't block the sun with your hand.