And then there were 6, no, 5, no, 4...

As everyone here knows, I was divorced as of late 2008. Though the absolute best thing for both of us, it still takes some getting used to. One thing I've decided since the relationship that occured afterwards: I think it's time for a break.

A dating break.

And I was thinking when I decided this, what's the big deal, no one really has interest anyway right? As irony rears it's oh so sarcastic head, let me tell you how wrong I was.

As part of 'transitioning' in life I've really started to just 'put myself out there', not in the dating sense but in the life sense. I wanted to shed how shy I am. I joined:

a singles hiking group
another local hiking group on Meet Up
a few networking/social groups locally (mainly work driven)
spent tons more time with neighbors outside
meeting routinely with other professionals (I don't know) to help expand my professional network
started photography again
joined FB
talking to strangers in public... Yeah I know, doesn't seem like much.

I know, to many of you, BFD. For me, lots of this is a BFD, I'm terribly shy and introverted.

But I've made a pact with me, that I am hell bent on keeping. No dating. Period. Flirting, well, yes, of course, cause flirting is a feel good activity and who doesn't want to feel good :) So, flirting, but no dating. Period.

The men are coming out of the woodwork. WTF. I've never been popular with the guys, never been the kind to 'draw them in'. Usually it's a one at a time kind of thing, at most. Apparently the trick is twofold, actually make eye contact with people in public and give off the "I'm not available" vibe. Let's count the ways this has worked out for me... sarcasm:

Guy 1 - a friend from years ago, now interested in friends with benefits -even if I was dating... no way.
Guy 2 - met at the hiking club, all over me like bees on honey, freaked me the hell out actually.
Guy 3 - met at the hiking club, I've learned to avoid flirting by this point
Guy 4 - Old boyfriend now living in Spain, 'the one that got away', emails out of the blue (haven't talked in months), he'd like to visit for 'a bit' and 'spend time together'
Guy 5 - a friend from years ago, interested in much more than friends with benefits
Guy 6 - a guy I met at Barnes and Noble Starbuck's, aka I'm learning, the meat market
Guy 7 - someone guy 6 would like to hook me up with

The timing on this activity? 6 weeks. Clearly, I have been looking for men all wrong, the lesson here is, give off vibes of disinterest in men and they flock to you. WTF. I will say that guys 1, 4 and 5 are genuinely nice guys, that I enjoy laughing and talking and hanging with. At least for now some of that does exist.

But don't worry, I've been able to reduce the load, lol!

Guy 2 - we're not speaking anymore. Related to me being very distant (did I mention he freaked me the hell out?), him meeting another person "I'm not sure I'm dating her but I don't know how she'd feel about you". I was laughing so hard when I read that. I mean, first, we're not dating. Second, how does he not know if he's dating someone and lastly, what, is he in high school or something? I think we stopped talking about the time I said that to him!

Guy 3 - after he took me hiking on a death march (I think he thought this was a date) I haven't seen him much. Might have somethign to do with not going on a hike since on my part :)

Guy 6 - I found out after he asked me out for drinks (I declined) he was married. That was the end of him being on the list.

Guy 6 - "well if I can't have you, I'd like to at least keep you in the family, can I introduce you to my brother?". No, I am not kidding, his words to me just yesterday.

So, there you have it. I'm sure when I'm ready to bring someone into my life again I'll have an empty well of course!

Top ten ways to meet guys:

1 - give off the I'm not interested in men vibe.
#2-10, see #1.

More stories/musings on life to come.