pauses of life

There are times in your life where things seem to pause, where moments and time pass slowly, almost defying the laws of science and mother nature, sounds around you may even echo or reverberate inside your head. For the most part, moments like this surround us in a veil of sadness.

But as I look to the blogs where each month families, just like E and I, are receiving their referrals and posting the pictures and information online, I realize that there is light at the end of our tunnel, at the end of all of our tunnels. And for once, it's NOT the light of an oncoming train ready to derail you once again, but rather:

It's the light of the beaming eyes of your daughter or son from China. It's the gleam and shimmer of their smile, it's the sparkle from their ray of sunshine that catches the tear in your eyes.

That's how I feel each and every time that referrals come out. I look at these photos, I feel an incredible and overwhelming sense of happiness and joy, for each and every family. No envy, no sadness for those of us still waiting, but just life altering happiness. I cannot imagine what it will feel like for Eric and I to finally, yes, to finally see the face of our daughter.

That lump in my throat as I write this right now defines the joy, anticipation and peace that I know one day will be here as we see Magpie for the very first time. At times like these, the wait seems like it could pass in an instant. At times like these I wonder just how many happy tears it might be possible to shed, I really wonder. Boy, a happy tear, now that's an incredible thought.

Congratulations to all the families out there who just received their referral, we are so happy for you.