The **real** call day

The day started like this. as I told my friend at work the following story:

I was so tired on Tuesday the 21st when I went to work. So very tired. Apparently so tired that when I got home from work I said to Papi as we walked down the steps to my house and I saw dogprints in the snow "gosh, who's dog was loose down here? Ginger must have been crazy cause of it walking around."

As we turned the corner there is Ginger, tail wagging, panting crazy, waiting to get into the house... loose. Apparently I was so tired that morning I actually forgot I had put her out and left her loose all day.

So I summed it up with my friend by saying "if I can't even remember I have a dog, how the hell can I handle a child". Eveyone assured me they would help me remember they were there!

A few hours later?

The call.

Yup. This was a shock, not that it was coming, but that it was coming in December. Just a week or two prior I heard it would be in one of the next 3 referral batches. The December batch came out on the 17th-19th and I didn't get a call so I figured "one month down, 2 to go". I didn't really sweat it and figured it gave me one more month of in person chances to mention to my mom the appeal process came through after 6 months and rounds of appeals. No. I had not told her yet, had wanted to in person.

Imagine my surprise, when on December 22nd I got the call, my agency's number showing on caller ID and I knew. I knew immediately before picking it up. Did I freak? No. Did I cry like crazy? No. But I calmly (sort of) picked up my pad of paper from my desk, a pen and car keys, walking out the door of my office (into the freezing cold with no jacket) to my car. I wanted to share the moment with him and needed to drive to his work.

I took all the details in the car, called him right away and tried for a bit to download her photos with him in the car. No go, the file was enormous. But we chatted, smiled like crazy, laughed and I teared up a bit finally.

It's a been a long long road, only 12 weeks left to go and there will be plenty of time for emotional tears to come.

This appeal process has afforded me one thing... the ability come hell or high water to soak it all in. I registered at a baby store the night proir to the call and had been planning the nursery. Nothing is going to rob me of that joy this time. nothing and no one.

I can honestly say, as scary as it all is, I have a great sense of peace. I better. I have no daycare, no pediatrician, my travel partners have all fallen through and I have no clue how financially it will all work out.

She is cute like crazy, she has a lovely name (Ming) I'm still waiting on translation on, and she'll be home right after her 1st birthday.