Changing Seasons

it's been so hard not to be able to post here for so long about all that's going on. But no matter how much I wanted to, no matter how much I needed to, more important than all that was to ensure in every way possible that a good outcome would happen. And so I remained silent, not able to write, not able to share whether it was regular life or the rollercoaster with the adoption. It's been a dark time like winter, in many more ways than could be imagined.

Spring, Summer and Fall are predictable.

Seasons start in spring when the crocus pushes up through the ground, opening to the sunlight and braving the chill of early spring. Then come daffodils, green green grass, lawn mowing, drenching rains and muddy puddles! Spring is beautiful but it's predictable, perhaps that's why I like it so much. It's controlled, you can count on what occurs every week. There's Easter dying, egg hunts, more chocolate than should be had. There's thoughts of what to grow in the garden, when to start seeds and when is the right time to get the hammock out. Pictures taken during this time are of life beginning anew, of pretty colors on flowers, of kids laughing and smiling. Water is chilly but promises great things for the days to come. Spring is predictable and beautiful.

Summer hails when the green green grass turns lots of shades of brown, but there's still more mowing and cursing the decision to buy a reel (not real, but REEL) mower. Sure it's environmentally friendly, easier to use on a lawn the size of a postage stamp and it can chop a snake in half. But for some reason it cannot chop grass if it gets too tall. I'm not kidding. During summer the lake warms to near bath water, the sun rises high like it always does and the days are long. In the south there's humidity, the north temperatures are "just right"... I think Goldilocks was from the Northeast :) There's laying on the hammock in the breeze on the dock, there's sounds of kids playing late into the night... oh and the most wonderful site bringing back memories of childhood -the fireflies. The pictures this time of year are about sun sun sun, beaches, evening parties, kids playing anywhere possible... Water this time of year is warm, fun and embraced, in some ways it's taken for granted.

As summer fades into fall the glory all around turns to brilliant shades of deep red, orange, near purple and the leaves on the trees take on a whole new life in a way. There are crisp nights, campfires and marshmellows. There's the sound of crunching leaves under your feet and the smell of the woods as it all changes. The weather forecast talks about "near peak and peak" all in reference to the leaves. It's about the only time a weather man can count on getting it all correct :) (well, unless you're in the south of Texas where the standard summer forecast is "90-95 degrees, 90+ % humidity, 90% chance of a late afternoon Thunderstorm..."). Picture upon picture is snapped, capturing the splendor of the hillside. There's talk of Halloween, where to spend the holidays this year, prepping the yard and the house for winter... For Winter. Water this time of year is chilly, and lake levels could be low, conjuring up images of what the winter will bring.

And then comes Winter, perhaps the most undervalued season of them all. What makes it difficult for some people is the very thing that makes it wonderful. It is not predictable. At all. Water in the winter takes on it's own life. You cannot predict what it will do, what it will look like. It is always holding back something in reserve. just when you think you've seen it all, water takes on a whole new life the very next day. All of these pictures were shot in Winter, all of them starting with the same basic element... water. And yet, if you never knew it was water, if you never saw it before you would swear there's no way they all started the same way.

The adoption has been a lot like winter. It's been dark, cold, difficult to endure and seemingly never ending. At the same time, becoming a family has been a lot like water in the winter. So many paths to take or not take and so many outcomes, mostly unpredictable and hard to imagine all coming from the same dream.

And it's through the last few years I realized I don't have a favorite season, I love them all for different reason, 3 because of the beauty that is predictable and 1 because you have no idea what waits for you in the morning, around the corner, in the evening and how long it will last before it's gone and changes once again. The last few years have taught me life is ever changing, that it doesn't always go as you wanted, it may not always be fair or right, you may not handle things the best way you could if you had a WayBack Machine to go back in time.

The last few years have taught me that not only is life like a box of chocolates, but life is like water in the winter in the northeast... it's unpredictable but it is glorious.

 

And so, as winter turns to spring all around us, it also turns to spring for me personally, in my life. The winter is gone, the unpredictable is it really going to happen or not is a thing of the past, and life turns to spring again.